


Holding on and letting go

by Hclxs



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Natasha Feels, Natasha Needs a Hug, Protective Natasha Romanov, Sam Wilson Feels, Sam Wilson Needs a Hug, Sam Wilson is a Gift, protecive Sam wilson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-23
Updated: 2016-03-23
Packaged: 2018-05-28 12:53:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6330007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hclxs/pseuds/Hclxs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Sam was nine his father was murdered and his mother followed after. When he was sixteen his granny was diagnosed with Leukemia. Then he watched Riley fall.<br/>When Natasha was three her parents were killed in a fire. When she was five the Red Room took her. At six she saw her friend die and at seven she killed one of the girls.<br/>Or Sam and Natasha are a little screwed up but help fill the cracks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Holding on and letting go

When Sam was nine his father was murdered but then Sam still believed in heaven and God and that made it more bearable. His mother died a few years later and that was when Sam stopped believeing in God because the one he was raised with wouldn't do that. He lived with his Grandma after that and she took care of him and his siblings until she couldn't and they took care of her. But when Riley fell and he couldn't save him that was when Sam stopped seeing a reason for a lot of things. 

When Natasha was three her parents died in a fire with her brother and sister and when she was five the Red Room took her in. By the time she was six she saw the closest person to a friend die, Natasha didn't remember her name but knew she looked a lot like Lila Barton and that still shook her to the core. When she was seven she made her first kill, the girl was small, younger and weak. It wasn't hard and she felt nothing after.

* * *

Natasha was laying on her stomach, facing Sam. It wasn't fair to him. It wasn't fair that she loved him but didn't know if she could ever tell him, they'd never grow old together, she could never give him the family he wanted and deserved and he was kind, gentle, warmhearted, and was a good person while she was a liar, a killer, a weapon and her past was soaked in blood. 

She told him if it were possible and they did actually have a kid the name would be Riley with Clinton or Laura as a middle name. Of course she didn't tell him who Laura was but only said she liked the name.

The man beside her jerked awake from a nightmare. He quickly sat up straight, realizing he moved to fast but quickly turned his head looking for Nat anyway. 

"Riley again?" Her voice was gentle and calm as her hand moved to rub small circles on his sweaty back. 

Sam shook his head because it wasn't Riley this time. He didn't explain for a few minutes not trusting his own voice yet. "You." When he did speak his voice was raspy and raw but he didn't care and she knew what he meant. 

Nat had almost forgotten about that mission. The new avengers had been sent to take down a HYDRA facility and it was supposed to be simple but she wasn't watching what was happening around her but she kept her eyes on Wanda and Sam and she got shot in the abdomen. It was bad she knew when she felt the warm blond and Steve gently lowering her to the ground so she didn't fall. Clint had shown up at the hospital and that meant it was really bad became Nate had only been born two weeks before. 

Sam told her exactly how bad it was after she woke up and Clint left to go call Laura to let her know what was happening and tell the kids Auntie Nat was okay. She died on the table twice, she almost bleed out, the bullet ruptured everything in its path and she'd been in a coma for a little over three weeks. The bastard knew what he was doing and who he was doing it too.

Congrats you almost killed the Black Widow and broke the Falcon and Hawkeye all at time same time. 

"Hey," she whispered, gaining his attention. "I'm here, okay? I'm here and I'm not leaving." Natasha pulled him closer to her and placed a soft kiss on his shoulder. "I l-" she cut herself off because she still couldn't say it. " I like you to much to do that." 

He understood what he meant. She loved him to much to leave by she still couldn't say it and he accepted that because he loved her too.

Because she didn't love herself enough and he found she looked sad a lot. She made him happy and whole again and he didn't think about Riley as much anymore. She made him believe in God and heaven again because she shouldn't be alive right now but she was and that's all that mattered. 

"I love you." It was blunt but he didn't care. It was the truth.  

* * *

The next morning he woke up and Nat was gone but she usually was but she always came back. 

So he got up and beat the shit out of a punching bag until he couldn't anymore and took a shower. When he got out Natasha was there with muffins and donuts and coffee from Dunkin Donuts. 

"You know, I think the way you say I love you is absolutely adorable." 

Because even when she didn't say it. She showed it.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> The lack of this pair in the world makes me really sad and there should be more of it.


End file.
